it's a process

Those of you that know me, know that I am an overly self-critical person. I am the queen of self-talk, most of which is negative. I am growing, and getting better, but it's still there. As a matter of fact, I think a got a demerit from my non-home manager because its just not necessary. I want to be creative, I want to be eloquent, I want to be clever. I am pretty sure I am none

...and then I read the 'Circle of Stones' Interview with Chelsea of this very inspirational blog, and I realized that its a process, and some of us get there more quickly than others. Although it is a nice reminder that we all have our own path, and we all have things to learn along them, our paths are not the same. I am no less critical of myself in these last 24 hours, however, I do feel more inspired.

I am having a difficult go of things these days, and reading the blogs that I do and having the connections I do, really helps my sanity. One of my recurring battles is about my relationship with my son and soon to expand family (planning stages, NOT pregnant yet, so stop hollering), as mothering does not come quite as easily to me as I thought it would. I am one impatient mama. Days like were had this weekend don't help my self-talk at all, as all Uli wanted this weekend was his Daddy. I love that Uli loves his Daddy and that they have a great relationship, but it becomes difficult for me to swallow, and hardens me spiritually. I did read an excerpt from this book, which really helped me, and will help me through this journey, especially when another (or more!) are added. In summary, children are spiritually tied and protected by their mothers until the age of three. So, even though Uli may want to hang with Daddy, he is still part of me, and maybe its that sense of security that allows him such freedom.

We went for a couple of walks this weekend. Excellent weather for it. These are not pictures promised last night, but pictures by Camera-Man, a.k.a Daddy.

(I love this photo - its just adorable, plus it a good shot of the best longies I've made to date)

(Some time with the boy... I'll take a walk with him any day)

Thanks for sticking with me.